The Party

May 22, 2017

“Man, this place is packed,” Jacob said, looking around Lucy’s house uncomfortably.

“I know, dude.  This party’s going to be the bomb,” Rock said.

“I was thinking the opposite.  Too many people.”

“No, dude.  Check it out.  That’s what makes a party fun.  Besides, it’s the first one of the year.  You know everyone is going to show up for it.  Let’s find little miss hostess.”

“Good idea,” Jacob said.  “Once we make our appearance, we can leave.”

“Haha, yeah.  Not what I was thinking.  I meant she can tell us where the booze is.”

They soon located the hostess, who was somewhere doing something.  Her flush face brightened when she saw the two approach.

“Jacob! It’s so cool that you’re here,” she said, leaning in for a hug.  “Rock, hi.  Thanks for coming.”

Rock clicked his tongue and nodded his head in a manner that was supposed to be cool.  “What up, Lucy?”

“Um, nothing.  Hosting a party.  Anyway, let’s get you two a drink.  What’s a party without alcohol, right?”

“I agree,” Jacob said.  “If I’m going to be surrounded by a bunch of people I don’t like, I’m going to need something to help loosen the tension.”

Lucy walked over to the makeshift bar that was her kitchen counter as Rock and Jacob began to follow when something, or someone, caught Jacob’s attention out of the corner of his eye.  A girl that he’d never seen before, and it’s not sexist to say girl because I am referring to someone who’s in high school, walked by about twenty feet away.  She waved to some random guy that Jacob also didn’t know, the kind of seductive wave that teenage girls give when they know someone is attracted to them and they have control of the relationship.  Jacob craned his neck to try to keep his view but the girl soon disappeared into the crowd.

“Yo, Jacob,” Rock said, bringing him out of his daze.  “What do you want?”

“Uh,” Jacob said as he shrugged.  “Whiskey and coke, I guess.”

“So, you two looking forward to the new school year?” Lucy asked inanely as she poured the drinks, already knowing the answer, not that she cared.  She just wanted to feign interest in her two new guests before getting back to the people she actually cared about.

“Not really.  School blows monkey dick,” Rock said.

“Cool, cool.  I agree,” Lucy said, splitting her time evenly between looking at Rock and Jacob and glancing around the room.  She looked at the watch she wasn’t wearing.  “Well, I should be getting back to the party.”

“What do you mean?” Jacob asked.  “We’re at the party.”

“Right, I hear you.  What I meant was I need to get back to keeping an eye on Nate and Theresa.  She’s trying to seduce him, I think, and I can’t let that happen.”

“Are you sure you should be spying on people and meddling this early into the school year?” Jacob asked.

Lucy shrugged.  “Why not?  The Patriot Act says I can.”

“I don’t think the Patriot Act says that.  Have you even read the Patriot Act?”

“Of course not.  Nobody has.  Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

Lucy walked away as Rock and Jacob leaned against the counter.  Jacob turned his head to Rock.

“So, what do you want to do?”

Rock shrugged.  “Find some strange, I guess.”

“Are you saying that because you’re actually horny, or because you think it’s what you’re supposed to want to do?”

“Does it matter?  Some nice, young tail here.”

“Stop saying that.  You sound like a sixty-one-year-old pedophile,” Jacob said, shaking his head.  “Besides, these aren’t the girls we should be going after for one night stands.  Too many complications hooking up with people you know.  We should go find us some eighty-year-olds.”

“What? Dude, gross.”

“No, think about it.  They’re so senile that you don’t have to call the next day, because they won’t remember.”

“Oh, yeah.  And if you’re awful, who cares?  They’ll just forget anyway.”

“Right,” Jacob said.  “Weird that’s where you went with it, but right.  Also, no need for morning after pills.”

Rock shrugged.  “I don’t use them anyway.  I just wait three months and push them down a flight of stairs.”

“That’s, uh, pretty sure that’s not cool, Rock.”

“Since when is killing babies not cool?”

“Right,” Jacob said slowly, in a long drawn out manner.  “Look, I really don’t like where this is going, so I’m heading this way now.  I’ll meet up with you at the end of the night.  Good?”

Rock shrugged.  “Sure.”


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